Raised As A Non-Boy

As someone who didn’t realize I was trans until I was 28, I can’t help feel disappointed that I didn’t learn this fact when I was younger. I wonder what my childhood would’ve been like, and wish I had the opportunity to grow up as a boy.

But, since I was raised as a supposed “girl,” I was able to do and try some things without being made fun of. I could get away with doing “girly” things like:

• Crochet bracelets
• Have toy horses and fairies
• Wear dresses by choice (albeit for a brief time)
• Trying nail polish
• Dance
• Play harp
• Act in theatre
• Cry in public
• Love sweet foods and beverages
• Read books with strong female leads

So often boys are teased for doing these things, but I was able to to engage in these activities in peace. After all, I was a girl, right?

I’m glad I was able to experience these things and decide what I liked and didn’t like. I’ve also grateful, for one reason, that I realized I was trans later in life.

I provided a different image of being female.

For the people who interreacted with me prior to coming-out, they saw a different way to be a girl or woman than what’s pressured on this gender.

• Girls can be loud
• Girls can love mud and frogs
• Girls can play with boys
• Girls can be fierce competitors
• Girls can be unabashedly smart in school
• Women can more comfortable in pants without makeup than in dresses and heels
• Women can have a cackling laugh
• Women can have no interest in dating
• Women can safely travel alone

Although I was a trans-boy in disguise, I was able to alter some common perceptions of being female by being myself. I hope people took this to heart when they met my younger self. I hope more girls today are allowed to be rambunctious.